Quick question

[gayalondiel_bak]

This evening Gok Wan on his new show had a goth SF&F fan in for a makeover. I switched off after it became clear that we were going to hear that she was using her fannish behaviour to keep people - notably nice attractive boys - repelled. However he did this ghastly thing where all her (female) friends and family talked about how much she was trying and failing to hide and repel everyone and that being dramatic and goth/alternative must be a shield she puts up to hide her nice normal personality.  She seemed to be unaware that they thought that way.

 

Which made me think, I'm unaware of my friends thinking I'm putting up a front but what if I'm wrong? my personal feeling is that I'm more honestly myself now than when I was trying to act normally and look normal. But I'd be interested to know if someone thought otherwise.

 

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Comments

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Gah. They sound like idiots. I'll wager that even if they do the makeover it won't stick, because it'll be like applying a layer of pink puffy paint to a shiny pleather catsuit.

In my experience, goths and fans ARE the nice people worth knowing, far more often than people who are busy wasting energy trying to pretend they're "normal" for the sake of appearances.

[gayalondiel.livejournal.com]

In my experience, goths and fans ARE the nice people worth knowing

Hurrah!

[tearelateddream.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine you any other way. I remember you were in "normal" mode when you went out to work once when I was there, and you seemed much more reserved/ less approachable than when you are being alternative-y (mm, yes, vocabulary clearly not improving post-midnight). So no, I'd say you do the opposite of using alternativeness (another blinder of a word, there) to repel people.

I saw the same programme, and I rather suspect that it was more a case of being surrounded by singularly closed-minded and unimaginative types than her purposefully repelling evryone by being "weird".

I will go before I commit any other crimes against the English language :p

[gayalondiel.livejournal.com]

(You can say "when you were being alternative". It's not brilliant grammar but it's standard in the subculture.) :)

Interesting that you saw my office wear that way. I'd say you're right, although I'm working on an office acceptable style that still has my personal touches so it's not quite such a mask.

[emperor]

You're far from the only goth I know, and the idea that gothing up is trying to repel people / putting up a front seems bizarre to me.

[gayalondiel.livejournal.com]

Phew. I know a lot of "normals" hide behind heavy makeup because they don't want people to see the real them, but IME it's when I'm low that I don't wear makeup, and when I'm well enough to engage with people it's like putting on the real me.

[marysutherland.livejournal.com]

I think most unusual/unconventional clothing of any kind, in which I'd include dressing as a Goth, is trying to express a part of your own personality. That's a thing that some people, like me, find hard to do. Part of me would like to dye my hair pink, but I also worry "but what would people say?" I think you have had the courage to decide to explore a lot of different aspects of your personality via gendered clothes and that's positive for you (and interesting for those of us who see you or your piccies!)

[gayalondiel.livejournal.com]

I think bleaching my hair in streaks was the decision I took longest to take, and I have screwed it up on occasion, but I've mostly had great comments. It's fascinating how non-natural colours are seeping into the mainstream, so if you want pink hair get some Directions or Manic Panic semipermanents and give it a whirl! The worst that can happen is that you'd need to wash it a lot to get it out...

One of the oddest things has been getting over my father's disapproval of my appearance. Accepting that he's never going to like it has been so freeing that I can face up to anyone else's opinion. My current rule of thumb is to plan a new mod every time he harrumphs at my appearance.

[didiusjulianus.livejournal.com]

But then you are still reacting to him, albeit in a different way, rather than just ignoring him and planning a mod, or a haircut, or a day wearing flouncy skirts and peach knitwear, or whatever else might take your fancy whether or not it fits in with whatever else you normally do or don't wear/do/think or feel. And that would be truly liberated.